And fairness for all

So I have been thinking a bit about the differences in girls and boys. Beside the obvious physical differences, of course. I have been thinking about the way things work in schools and playgrounds and the way we are bringing these children up in this world. It used to be that boys had the ‘advantage’ at school, and then girls are boosted up through Title 9 (most commonly thought of as equalizing sports programs in schools), and general equality in the classroom. Now, given a chance, the girls are passing the boys in most areas of school. They are generally “pleasers” when it comes to teachers and adult authority, and tend to be able to sit still longer. We hear reports of boys struggling with delayed reading, lower scores, fewer recesses which allows time to run out the wiggles. (We can attest to the difficulties that brought Jonathan)

What dawned on me was the way our kids’ rooms are decorated. Seems simple, really.

Our girls’ room is filled with

Sugar and spice and everything nice

His room is:

Books and a desk, and maps in thrice

Are we paving the way for success for a son, and failure, or at the very least, LESS advantage for our daughters? Do we not think it matters what adorns the walls of their room? We are more likely to buy for our son the things that we really wanted but never got out of childhood. (It doesn’t help that I would be more likely to want “boy toys” than girls toys as a kid) For me, that would be all of books, a desk of my own in my room, and maps on the wall. Our girls have a dollhouse-ish bookcase, and a dresser that accommodates clothes enough for 2. What will happen to the space when we don’t have a crib to contend with, and the girls are generally older?

We are at the point where Jonathan is 8 and the girls are 4 and 1. They have a lot of books, age appropriate to each child. The girls aren’t at the point of wanting or needing more extravagant toys. Jonathan, for some time, has had things like a science kit, and recently, an energy kit. He has built things for scouts and just for fun with Dad. Emilee has a kit to make foamy sticker crowns, and other art supplies. She also enjoys puzzles and coloring, dressup, dolls and stuffed animals. They both enjoy their bikes, scooters, and balls outside. They all enjoy swimming, and they all go on walks with us. I hope we are giving all our kids the things, equally, that they will need to do well in school and life. I hope that we aren’t ever making the girls feel that that they are just cute, or sweet. They all need to know that they are smart, and capable, and deserving of the best that this world has to offer.

While I don’t think they will be getting giant maps on their wall, maybe we can get desks squeezed into the girls’ little room… and globes… that are pink, or purple…